I’m the sensitive one in my relationship, and sometimes it can be hard to deal with daily.
It took the longest time for my boyfriend to understand. Instead of being defensive when there’s an argument between us, he will sit down and talk if I have a problem, whether at work or with my family, that might affect our relationship.
According to Psychology Today, an HSP or Highly Sensitive Person is a personality trait that makes someone has more emotional sensitivity and complex inner life.
In case you don’t know yet, dating an HSP can be tremendous and tricky depending on how well you know the person. The better you know them, the easier it gets to navigate your relationship into a loving, stable, and healthy one.
Here are some of the most common things you’ll notice when you date an HSP.
1. They get overwhelmed easily.
Sensitive people tend to get overwhelmed even if it doesn’t seem a big deal. This is mainly because an HSP has lots of things in their heads and needs a longer time to absorb everything.
Also, the fact that they use their feelings a lot more than their logic makes it hard not to get stressed quickly.
I get overwhelmed when I have too much on my to-do lists, and instead of reducing them, moving them around to another day, I tend just to sit there and cry.
If you see your partner suddenly burst out in tears, don’t panic. They usually take their time to feel all the emotions and calm down. And sometimes, crying is the only thing that will make them feel better.
2. They are more emotional almost about everything.
It’s no surprise that sensitive people are more emotional. This is because they use their emotions a lot.
Whenever there’s an argument or issue, my partner knows that I need some time to process everything we’ve just argued.
People who aren’t sensitive will discuss the solution right away, but ignoring my feelings and the need to let it all out first means I’ll become more irritated, and there’s no way I can sit down and talk about how to fix the issue calmly.
But one thing to highlight is that being emotional doesn’t mean negative all the time. It applies to other events in life as well. Don’t be surprised if you find your partner cry after watching a certain movie touching their heart.
3. They are very thoughtful and caring.
When you heard about an HSP, you probably think it’s so difficult to deal with and requires a lot of work. While this might be true, they also can be the most thoughtful and caring person you’ve ever dated.
They like sending gifts to their loved ones, and most of the time, they’ll custom the present and put a letter in it. This also can be one of their ways to express their love to you.
You might think this is just a common trait, but I’ve known people in my life who don’t know how to be caring and thoughtful towards their partner.
Everything has to be straight-forward. Meanwhile, for a highly sensitive person, this won’t be a struggle as it’s their nature to care and be thoughtful all the time, and most importantly, they know how to express it right.
4. They tend to have more insecurities and self-doubts.
We are all insecure in some ways or another, but a highly sensitive person?
They certainly have way much more insecurities. Unless they work on it, it’s going to be a main issue in the relationship.
Not only the insecurities that might blow up at any time, but they also doubt themselves a lot.
Yes, they are more in tune with their emotions, but this also can lead to nonstop overthinking. Are they good enough for you? Are they making you feel appreciated? Is the relationship still working?
All those questions will pop up in their head a lot more than insensitive people.
I’m aware that it’s on them who needs to work on it when it comes to insecurities and low self-esteem. But you can also help them reduce it by being supportive and understanding when the problem arises.
5. They are good at having different perspectives about life.
If there’s one thing that I like about being an HSP, I can see different perspectives in every situation, both in a good and bad way.
This helps me put myself in my partner’s shoes and understand his perspective instead of being too caught up with my ego.
So if you are dating one, you’ll notice a lot on how they take their time to think about certain situations.
When they face a tricky problem in the relationship, they know they have to see both sides’ perspectives, which also means they have to lower their ego to understand your way of thinking.
Just like any relationship, it’s easy to get in but very hard to maintain. A healthy and stable relationship takes a lot of work.
With dating an HSP, here are some tips that you can do to make it easier:
- Your partner might need more space than you to think and process their emotions, so make sure to let them know that they can have it and you fully understand about it.
- When they are really in their feelings, sometimes it can affect the whole mood in the relationship, but make sure not to blame them by saying words like “you are too sensitive” because it’ll only make them feel worse.
- An HSP tends to please people as much as they can, so to avoid burnout in the relationship, ask them once in a while whether there’s something you can do/what they need from you as well.
- Give your HSP partner some affirmations words. This action is to ensure that you appreciate them and kind words can always touch their heart.
Even after five years in the journey, my partner and I still have issues here and there, and with me being a highly sensitive person, it can be harder sometimes to manage.
But I also believe that you’ll find ways to make it work when you find the right person. Every argument, every external problem, every misunderstanding are there to make your relationship even stronger.