We have been raised in a society that expects us women to be all sweet and soft. Sure, it’s a gender stereotype everyone has come to expect from each other, but times are changing. Women have now come a long way from just being the sweet and soft gender into a full blown force of nature, which I argue we’ve always been all along.
Why it’s okay for a woman to ask a guy out
Here are a few reasons why women need to take control of their seeing game, and quit waiting around for the guy to make the first move.
#1 You will have the power over the relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice to have the stronger say-so in a relationship for once? Why not be the powerful one who gets to decide where the relationship will lead, instead of just being the one who waits for the guy to actually take you seriously?
#2 Guys will find it refreshing to be wooed for a change. Most guys who like their women strong will respond positively to women who are go-getters. So the more you become strong enough to ask guys out, the more manly men gravitate toward you.
If the dudes you like respond negatively, then they may be looking for the soft and sweet type of women, and that’s all right. If you had the guts to ask him out only to get bad results, it’s a sign that your personalities will clash soon enough, and you’re better off with someone else.
#3 Take charge of your seeing options. We are no longer in the Victorian era. Those women waited on the whims of men! We are well into the 21st century, where girls can now say whatever they want directly to any man’s face. Gone are the days when women depended on men for money, family, or life decisions. The more you seek out your men proactively, the better the chances you have of snagging your perfect match!
#4 No more waiting. If you want him, go get him. Sure, it’s scary. But wouldn’t it be exciting, exhilarating, and challenging, too? Imagine the feeling of accomplishment and happiness you’d get if he actually says yes? There’s a reason why guys like the chase: it’s addicting. Why shouldn’t women have that, too?
#5 Your crush probably won’t notice you exist. We’ve all seen those teen movies, where the nerdy but cute girl stays behind a curtain of regular clothing, heavy books, and thick spectacles, and then near the end, there would be some sort of a dance that will then transform her into a princess in the boy’s eyes. That only happens in movies, and you know it!
The simple fact is if you want your crush to notice you, he won’t, unless you tell him directly. If he still doesn’t want you, he’s not worth pining over. Move on, and look for another crush to stalk!
#6 If he’s gorgeous, he’ll probably be taken again before he even has time to look at you! Gorgeous, marriage material guys are getting harder and harder to spot in their twenties. If you happen to meet an interesting one who seems to be available, grab that opportunity, and present yourself to him as a gorgeous girlfriend-to-be option!
Dilly-dallying will only get you beaten by the next girl to have noticed him. So why wait? If he snubs you, too bad, but no harm done, right?
#7 Guys need to be clued in most of the time. It’s like they really are from a different planet! If you don’t blurt it out to them, they won’t have a clue. Dudes are oblivious to girls who are totally in love with them. Men practically invented the friend-zone!
If you want your guy friend to notice that you want to be more than just friends, girl, you need to tell him. Otherwise, you’ll both probably end up parting ways, and he’ll remain just as clueless.
#8 No matter how you dress up, they won’t know it was for them if you don’t actually tell them. The worst thing about it is that they will probably assume that you get all dolled up every day, just so all the boys notice you. And they won’t even consider that it’s only one boy *the oblivious idiot you actually like* that you were trying so hard to impress all along.
#9 Women who are go-getters get the better men! Men who love women who know what they want tend to be more of a man than any other male species. Only a strong guy’s-guy can handle a tough chick. It’s actually a simple logic. If a girl wants a man who can handle how strong she is, she needs to go get him herself to prove that he’s man enough to handle a go-getter.
#10 Asking directly shows the guy that you mean business, and that you don’t scare easy. Women who are bold enough to ask a guy out directly will be a challenge to guys. Men who respond to that tactic will know you mean business, and that you are one hell of a girl to say no to. It would definitely remind the guy who they are dealing with, and not to mess with you if they’re just planning to play with you.
#11 Girls who know what they want get what they want. Angelina Jolie wanted THE Brad Pitt, the hottest-male-species-alive BRAD PITT. She didn’t let Jennifer Aniston get in her way. Cheating may not have been a good way to get what she wanted, but she definitely knew what she wanted. She presented herself as a strong woman who wanted to get the s*xiest man alive for herself, and was fearless enough to have let him know it, and he responded! So go find yourself your own Brad Pitt, ladies.
#12 If you remain in the shadows, you’ll probably be there for a while – and for a while, I mean forever. I don’t mean to be dramatic, but once you allow yourself to think that the shadows is where you belong, the truer it gets! Confidence, ladies! Being a wallflower is fine when you’re still in high school trying to find yourself and still feel hesitant to show your colors. But being a wallflower in your twenties is just a bit of a letdown to our gender!
Go get them! I assure you, there is not one reason big enough for you to remain hidden in the shadows waiting for Mr. Right to come rescue you.
#13 If he rejects you, experience learned. Brush it off, move on, and be happy that you now know he isn’t into a hottie like you! You won’t die if he rejects you. Not even if you stop eating because of him! It’ll feel pretty painful if he rejects you. But so what? Just think about this: in ten years, you’ll be laughing at yourself for being so affected. Experiencing pain is not reason enough to not go try and get what you really want.
#14 Women have the power now. Who run the world? Girls! To borrow Beyoncé’s words, we run the world, girls. So act like it! Girl power is a real thing. Asking men out to date you may seem like a freaking humiliating thing to do. But when you think about it really hard, why is it embarrassing? I can’t think of one valid reason that makes it shameful or demeaning to women.
Asking people out shows we don’t rely on others’ opinions of us. It shows we are secure enough to be ourselves, confident enough to face a man and say “I like you and I want to get to know you. Would you want the chance to get to know me?”
So girls, the next time you hesitate when asking a guy out, think of yourselves as queens. Queens do what they want, and queens want men to know they are powerful enough to take control of any situation, including love.